Florham Park New Jersey Family Law Blog

There are many reasons to limit the number of people you tell that you are divorcing to only those who really need to know. Outside of close family and friends, that probably includes your boss, your kids' teachers and anyone who spends time in your home, like your housekeeper. Even then, it's often best not to share any more information than necessary.

One reason to limit whom you talk to about your divorce is that everyone will have an opinion. Apart from your attorney, therapist, spiritual counselor and financial advisors, most of these opinions are just that -- someone else's idea of what should be happening or why.

Divorce is never an easy process, even when the two parties are committed to working together to reach a reasonable agreement. When it is possible to work together toward a final order that allows both parties to have stability and security, it may be worthwhile to think about the benefits of divorce mediation. This is an optimal way for many New Jersey couples to resolve their disputes and finalize their divorce quickly.

The mediation process won't work for everyone, but it could offer you the opportunity to have more control over the terms of your final divorce order. It requires that both parties work through their issues in a reasonable manner. While it does not require that both parties get along or like each other to be effective, it does require that both parties commit to the process.

The provisions that you and your co-parent negotiate for your parenting plan should reflect your priorities and concerns when it comes to the well-being of your children. No two parenting plans look alike.

Many parenting plans address is the use of alcohol, drugs and/or tobacco around the children. How you address that will depend on one or both parents' use (or abuse, in some cases) of these substances. Even if only one parent smokes, for example, your provision may state that neither parent will allow the children to be exposed to secondhand smoke in the home or car. This would also apply to any third parties that the children might be around when they're with a parent.

It's not common, but some parents choose a "split custody" arrangement when they divorce. This is when each parent has sole physical custody of one or more of their children. Sometimes, divorced parents will switch an existing child custody arrangement to split custody because circumstances have changed that they believe warrant it.

The primary reason why most courts (and parents) don't favor split custody is that it's typically best for siblings not to be separated from one another. Parental divorce is hard enough without losing everyday contact with your brothers and sisters.