Although most New Jersey parents are committed to putting their children first when going through a divorce, egos and self-concern can cause them to lose sight of what is most important. As long as parents are dedicated to working through their disputes as amicably as possible, however, the children can be happy and well-adjusted.
During the divorce and the transition period afterwards, it is important that parents follow a few rules that are highly recommended. First, parents should never vent to their children about their problems with the other parent. Parents should also refrain from talking badly about the other parent, no matter how frustrated they are. The children should never be used as messengers as this can put them right in the middle of the parents’ dispute. If parents need to talk or vent, they should seek a therapist or talk to friends.
Even if parents do their best to keep the children out of their disputes, it can still be difficult to effectively parent without a proper parenting plan. This written plan should include who has the children when and should outline basic rules that they should follow regardless of which parent they are with.
During a divorce, children are more likely to thrive if parents can keep a child custody dispute civil. A family law attorney may help a client negotiate a parenting plan that is in the best interests of the children. The plan may include dealing with school events and extracurricular activities, which may allow the kids to continue being involved in sports or other activities that they enjoy. If there is a dispute and the parents cannot reach an agreement regarding the custody order, the attorney may work out a solution that allows the kids to maintain a stable home life.