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Despite the impact of COVID-19, we are open and continuing to meet the needs of our existing clients and new clients without interruption or change in the quality of our services. Please do not hesitate to contact us with any concerns, questions or requests for information about your matter. At this time we are offering appointments via telephonic and/or video conferencing.
To help out during these trying times we are offering Free Consultations. Click here to Schedule a Consultation.

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How to successfully co-parent with a toxic ex-spouse

Nov 19, 2019 | Child Custody

Parenting after a divorce has its challenges. This is especially the case when one of the co-parents is a narcissist or toxic person. New Jersey residents may be interested in learning some helpful tips that can help them as they try to put their children’s best interests first and avoid power struggles with a toxic co-parent.

Focusing on what a person can’t change will drive them crazy. When a person looks at what they can control, like the way they respond to difficult situations, they will be able to maintain their composure and stay calm when situations tend to escalate. They must recognize patterns and triggers that cause an ex to go from zero to 90 in the course of a breath. This will help them to steer the conversation in a direction that empowers and protects them and their children.

Setting new boundaries is an essential step in co-parenting after a divorce. A person must realize that setting boundaries has more to do with how they engage or choose not to engage with an ex than the way their ex responds. They should not allow themselves to be baited. Being defensive and reacting purely on emotion should not even be an option.

Co-parenting is about raising children. It is not a way for a person to get back at an ex for problems that they experienced during their marriage. This means that a person will need to recognize when they should respond to an ex and when it is best to let what the ex says or does go.

Some co-parents decide to file a court order when an ex consistently barges through agreements. An attorney may be able to help a person see if this is an option for their circumstances. An attorney may also be able to provide information about child custody, visitation rights and enforcing a child custody order.