Despite the impact of COVID-19, we are open and continuing to meet the needs of our existing clients and new clients without interruption or change in the quality of our services. Please do not hesitate to contact us with any concerns, questions or requests for information about your matter. At this time, due to various requirements, we are scheduling consultations and appointments via telephonic and/or video conferencing.

To help out during these trying times we are offering Free Virtual Consultations. Click here to schedule your Virtual Consultation.

Some tips for telling your kids you're splitting up

If you and your spouse are moving toward separation or divorce, one of the things you're likely dreading the most is telling your children. This is a conversation that will probably impact how they feel about the situation and both of you and one they'll remember for the rest of their lives. Therefore, when and how you do it are both very important.

When should (and shouldn't) you tell the kids?

Typically, the sooner you do it, the better. Kids hear and sense more than many people realize. If they think you are hiding something from them, they're less likely to trust you at a time when you most need their trust.

If one of you is moving out, you should tell them before that happens. Be honest about whether you're moving toward divorce or just taking some time apart. Don't give them false hope.

It's best to have a parenting time schedule agreed upon before you talk to them. That will be one of their primary concerns.

There are some important "don'ts" about when to tell your children as well. If you can avoid it, don't tell them over the holidays or on any day that's special to them, like their birthdays. Don't tell them close to bedtime or in a public place.

How to tell your children is important

It's always best when parents can sit down with their children together at home. Have a plan for what you're going to say. You know your kids and how they're likely to react.

Focus on the fact that you'll still be their parents – not on what went wrong with the marriage. Don't use this time to blame each other or to accept blame. Present this as a joint decision, even if it wasn't.

Be prepared for your children to be angry at one or both of you. Don't encourage that, even if you agree with them. If a child blames your spouse for not being home enough or yelling too much, stand up for them, even if they're right. Maintain this attitude, even when "the talk" is over.

If you need some guidance in preparing to tell your children about your break-up, your family law attorney can likely provide some guidance. They can also help you work to put a parenting schedule in place even if you're not ready to work out a custody agreement yet.

No Comments

Leave a comment
Comment Information
Email Us For A Response

Set Up A Consultation, Email Our Firm Today

Bold labels are required.

Contact Information
disclaimer.

The use of the Internet or this form for communication with the firm or any individual member of the firm does not establish an attorney-client relationship. Confidential or time-sensitive information should not be sent through this form.

close

Privacy Policy

Office Location

100 Southgate Parkway
Suite 190
Morristown, NJ 07960-6465

Toll Free: 800-465-0163
Toll Free: 800-465-0163
Phone: 973-692-6317
Phone: 973-692-6500
Fax: 973-692-6377
Morristown Law Office Map

Paramus Office
140 E. Ridgewood Avenue
South Tower, Suite 415
Paramus, NJ 07652

Phone: 201-597-6100
Map & Directions

Princeton Office
103 Carnegie Center
Suite 300
Princeton, NJ 08540-6235

Map & Directions

Phone Numbers