Communication patterns between couples in New Jersey and around the country can predict the likelihood of divorce according to Dr. John Gottman, the author of "Why Marriages Succeed or Fail". His research involved observing thousands of couples engage in arguments in a laboratory setting. He identified the most toxic communication traits as criticism, defensiveness, stonewalling and contempt, with contempt being the most destructive to a relationship.
New Jersey couples who are ending their marriages might want some tips for smoothing the difficult legal road ahead in order to avoid some of the most common divorce traps. Many couples try to negotiate a settlement, but there are some things to look out for in this regard.
Couples in New Jersey and throughout the country may not want to get divorced during the holidays. This may be especially true if they have kids and want to spend one more Christmas as a single family unit. Those without children may also loathe idea of spending the holidays by themselves. In some cases, people may be less likely to divorce during the holidays because the Christmas season inspires hope that a marriage can be salvaged.
The short-term financial effects of separation and divorce are obvious. Spouses must learn to pay their bills with less income and may have to make sacrifices to make ends meet. However, there are long-term effects divorcing couples in New Jersey may not consider as they plan to live their futures apart.
In many cases, divorce may eventually lead to bigger families. As people divorce and remarry, families might expand through the addition of stepchildren, stepsiblings and stepparents. A study carried out by researchers at the University of Massachusetts found that in households with an adult younger than 55 at the head, nearly a third have a stepparent. Around one-third of couples older than 55 who have adult children have a stepchild.
Some New Jersey parents who are divorced from a person with a narcissistic or borderline personality disorder might need to watch for signs of parental alienation. This can happen in any kind of custody arrangement, and it involves one parent influencing how a child behaves toward the other parent.
After a divorce, holidays can present challenges for both parents and children in New Jersey. However, the adults should put the children first as moving back and forth between households can be quite hard for them. Divorce is a difficult time for everyone, but over time, the pain of a marriage ending will dissipate. Parents can help lessen that pain for children with these tips.
While divorce rates in New Jersey and across the U.S. have fallen since 1987, separations for couples older than age 50 have steadily increased. Known as gray divorces, these separations present special issues with which younger people don't have to contend. It is important for older spouses to understand the special problems that they might face so that they can make well-informed decisions.
People in New Jersey who are getting a divorce and who own a business will need to make some hard decisions about the future of their company. The options may be for one spouse to buy out the other, for the two to sell the business or for them to keep the business. One spouse might also give the other an asset that is the worth of that spouse's share of the business.
New Jersey parents who are considering getting a divorce may be reluctant to do so because of their children. Before they make a decision regarding staying in the marriage or leaving to go their separate ways, there are some issues to which they should give serious thought.